Poetry:
        Love Letter from a Torture Chamber

Jayne Fenton Keane
PhD Student
School of Arts, Griffith University
Email: jfk@poetinresidence.com

Love Letter from a Torture Chamber

from Ophelia's Codpiece

Istanbul 1993

A lady was tortured with electric shocks given through her nipples and finger tips, beaten under the sole (called Falaka), put under pressurised water and raped in front of her friend. When she cried out for water, a police officer urinated on her face. The police officers were acquitted in this case (KurdishMedia.com 17/06/2001).

I don't know how to say this to you. I don't know how to express my desire.

The words slide down my body, glide down my throat, tumble down my spine and fall away to the ground. In here I have no choice but to consume your image. The icon in my memory. The gold bright haze of you. The ingot that shines through the fog of their beatings. The you that keeps me sane. Will you forgive me for making you the rapist. Will you forgive me for getting wet when I hear their footsteps. When I see the crack of light enter the room.

Sometimes, at night, if I can find one tiny comfortable patch of flesh to lie in, one conscious frame of mind to ignite a flicker of who I used to be, I slip my fingers into my mouth and play the vocabulary of my clitoris. Sometimes I let my tongue unravel the length of my body and slip between my thighs as I learn the art of pagan rituals and remember how little I need you or any of your kind and for one tiny moment I am free.

But a lot can happen in the space where you wait to exhale. And you can try and hold onto your breath, but it is impossible to die this way. Where are you? Why don't you come? Why have you not rescued me? And all this time I thought you were powerful.[1]

Footnote:

1. Women and girls are raped by police and prison guards across all continents. Since 1997, Amnesty International has received reports of rape by government agents in more than 50 nations. Amnesty International

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